Baby Talk

Tonight it was 38 degrees as I waited for the bus.  I was kind of doing a little dance as it pulled up to keep warm and as I entered I saw the bus driver was a  friendly old woman with a warm smile on her face.  “You look cold, honey!” she said in a grandmotherly voice that made me feel like I was nine again.  “I am!” I said in a sickly sweet child-like voice.  “Well sit down and get cozy!” she cooed.  I snuggled into my seat like a child with its blanket.

I was the only person on the bus so far.  Usually we pick up a couple more people before my stop but tonight it was just me and my favorite new bus driver.  She called out my stop, I rang the bell and she says, “Are you going to the Convention Center?”  I tell her yes and she says she will drop me off there so I don’t have to cross the street. “Yay!’ I shout.

“Thank you!”  I say still using baby talk as I exit.  “You’re welcome sweetie,”  she says.

It took me a few seconds after she pulled away to realize what a tool I had been.  It was like I was under that Grandma’s spell!  But it was my favorite bus ride in a long time.


Nap Time

The guy sitting across from me needed to nap for a little while.  I just wish he would have kept his eyes closed instead of opening them every 15 seconds or so and looking at me before closing them again.   It made me feel uncomfortable.

He did wake up to the click my camera made, but I anticipated this and was quick to pretend I was focusing on something outside.


Valentine’s Day

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day.  I got off the bus to meet Kelley downtown and a crazy drug addict lady was walking all jerky in front of me.  She turned around consistently ever 5 seconds to shout some insult at me the whole three blocks.  It was really windy and rainy so I couldn’t make out much of her gibberish besides, “Oh look at her go!  Just look at her go everybody!”  But her tone was not encouraging, it was more like she wanted to kill me.


Stink Bomb

Today I stepped on the 2 and it smelled as though someone carried on a bucket of hardboiled eggs or lit a stink bomb, one of the two.  It was so awful.  I was covering my face and the guy next to me goes, “You think this is bad?  I once had a drunk guy sit next to me, pass out and shit his pants.”


Butting In.

Lindsey observed a brilliant strategy from a totally rude woman today that I must share:

“I just witnessed a woman stick her butt back and out toward a seat on the bus until the poor girl, who was already sitting in that seat, got up and moved.  And no, she was neither old nor blind.  Maybe that move would work for me?”

If you really wanted to sit down, this is a great (dick) move.


Dee Snider?

I was really excited when I thought Dee Snider was at my bus stop today, but was only disappointed when “Dee” turned around and was just a woman with similar hair.


Call me.

A  homeless man complete with a long dirty trench coat and brown paper bag propositioned me while waiting for the bus at 3rd and Bell.  “Damn girl, you like to go out to dinner and do nice things?” he asked.  “Uh, yeah I guess” I say. “Why don’t you give me your number and I will take you out!” he says. “You have a phone?”  I ask, suddenly curious.  “Shoot, I’ll use a pay phone girl!”.

That really boosted my ego.


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